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I have umm-ed and aah-ed about whether or not I should write it.... and then umm-ed and aah-ed about whether or not I should publish it. See... writing about oneself is a little touchy and sensitive... I could talk about my grandparents, my family, my adventures and be all right with... feel totally safe and secure. I could write about my opinions and view and that is also not a problem for me.... but when a topic deals with mistakes or the way I feel about myself or if I actually take it as a chance to pat myself on the back, it is a bit tricky... I do not want to expose myself too much, I do not want to sound like a show-off but sometimes I need outside opinion because I do not get that much chance to talk about my feelings, be understood, and just plane listened to.
I miss friends........ there I said it.
I am longing to sense that touch of friendship again... to laugh out loud and have no care in the world... to know that your friends will never talk ill of you behind your back or maybe even straight to your face.... to trust that whatever they say in front of you is not a show of any kind but genuine and sincere... to believe that if you ever did anything wrong or anything they disagreed with, that they would tell you straight your face and support you while you make amends and fix whatever it was that was broken....
I actually miss feeling the love... the the reciprocated excitement in their voices when I call ... the warm embraces... the sympathetic tear... the ever lasting support... the unspoken appreciation...
I have friends here, where I live... and people I see, socialize with and talk to...They are wonderful... all of them... I like going out with them, have lunch, dinner, drinks... I just miss the deeper feelings that some with true friendships, where I feel so comfortable that I would just open up about everything and anything and feel certain that I will not be lectured or thought ill of because of my differences in opinion.... I would love to feel that my opinions about certain incidents that happened to me, are understood and more often than not agreed with.... I miss people with similar views to agree with mine...
In summary...
I miss the sense of belonging...
2 comments:
Oh, your post makes me sad for you. I have been blessed with friends that I have know for more than 35 years. The last time we all got together one of them said that for a moment she was stressing on what to wear and then she remembered who she was going out with. She said it well. We didn't care what she wore, we loved her to pieces and just wanted her there.
Most women need deep intimate friendships. Myself, I don't need a lot of friends but the ones I have I hold so close to my heart. I think it is hard for people like us to find friends that are extra sensitive.
I am going to pray that God sends someone to you soon that will fill that empty space.
oh Birdie... I have such friends ... ones that you connect with at a totally different level and who would love you no matter what... but they are all far away... and spread across the face of the Earth...but this was one of the reason why i started blogging... I wanted to connect with people... and I am so glad that I have because I have met some WONDERFUL blog readers, such as yourself, whom I feel connect with already despite that fact that I have not met them in person... but that does not matter because connecting like that makes it ever so much more meaningful... thanks for your comment and for praying...
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