I missed writing… the past few months I have thought of only death, destruction and injustice. All I could think of was what was going on outside of my head, outside of my walls, in a country or two or three, that have been engulfed in darkness imposed on them by a crushing dark entity. I thought of people whom all they saw was rubble, heard only shrieks and explosions and felt only fear; for their children, families and future. I thought of nothing else and felt nothing but helplessness, love and longing, which were all intertwined to weave a carpet of hope and prayer for these delicate lives.
And all this time, I had so much to say but nothing to write. I only read the words of others who spoke about the atrocities committed at the hands of those who believed that they had the right to act in the name of their god, their dogmas and their books. I only read the words of the witnesses to these crimes perpetrated by the haughty, who felt they were above their neighbors. I watched videos, and saw pictures. I read and posted, then posted and read, all the time thinking that there was nothing much to say. It has all been said before; reiterated in many different ways.
But I missed writing those feelings that were all tangled and jumbled up inside. I only allowed those written words, pictures and videos to affect me deeply… to sadden me about the current situation of ‘peoplekind’. I did not write a word to release the pent up frustration or anger inside.
I just kept thinking and thinking not allowing my brain to stop for a second. I immersed myself into work, crawling under to-do lists and completing what should take a few days in a few hours. I did not want the windmill to stop turning because I knew that if the wind stopped blowing, the questions would start to run through my windows like a raging river. Silly questions, unreasonable questions, questions such as, “Will justice ever prevail? Will self- righteousness ever be conquered? Will fanaticism seize to exist? Will we ever evolve into ‘better’ human beings?”
It just so happens that we are teaching Grade 6 students about Early Humans, about Australopithecus and Homo erectus… about how we evolved and how our ancestors started off as gatherers and then created tools from rock, wood and bone. We have developed so far and yet I feel that we have not moved away from the greed for control, possessions and land. When will we people let go of our hatred and the rest of the 7 sins of Dante? When will we stop and not only think about ourselves but also the people standing next to us in line, or the family in the car behind us, or the waiter serving us food? When will we look at the people passing us by as each having a life worth living? That they have families and only want to survive and be happy? When will we start thinking that if we had running water, electricity, education and good health care, then people across the border from us or those in the next town have the same rights as us because we are human at the end of the day?
I wonder sometimes when will we shed the imaginary borders and divisions and focus on what brings us together? I wonder all the time. I am thirsty for justice and freedom. I am thirsty for equal opportunity, rights and prosperity for all. I am thirsty for humanity. That windmill will never cease to turn as I will always be thirsty for a better tomorrow.
What are you thirsty for?
Oh and in case you were wondering why I decided to write a few words today? Well, I had terrible muscle tension in my neck and left shoulder, which made me look like a snob looking down at people when chatting. It was a sign that I am stressed out and in need of a release…. And writing is my release.