Kids continue to amaze me. They develop intricate communication systems and ways of interaction that boggle my mind. I do not remember ever having to figure out ways to establish a relationship with my friends; a set of rules and regulations of how to treat one another.
Last night, after my son and I had a long discussion, on the bed in a dark room, I came out in awe of him and his friends. I realized that there were so many little details of his relationship with his friends that I had no knowledge of and I was humbled.
He told me how he got along very well with one of his friends, a lovely boy of four, J. He first said he liked him and before I had the chance to ask him why he corrected himself and said, "No, actually I love him." I asked him why, not because I didn't know the answer to that question, but because I wanted to hear his thoughts. He told me what a good boy J was, how they played well together and how he sticks up for him.
He then said that J listens to him and at that point my eyebrows shot up in the dark. I have to admit that I was a little weary of his last comment. I asked Jad if he bossed J around and he said, "No, mom we have a system going."
A what??? A system?
I had to choose my words carefully in this situation so as to get the whole truth and a better INSIDE picture of what goes on when the parents are busy chatting away or preparing dinner.
And this is what he explained:
"Mom, J and I have a system. He listen to two things and then I listen to one." I was very confused and had to clarify what he meant since, to my mommy mind set, he was not making any sense. It was either that or that I was so clueless as to what goes on between kids that I failed to understand. The poor young man kept trying to explain but after the third time over he gave up and presented his information in layman's terms.
"OK mom, this is how it goes. I ask J to do two things for me and then he asks me to do one thing for him. For example: I ask him to please give me a toy he is playing with because it is my favorite or if he can hand me a toy next to him and he asks me to open something for him or get him a drink of water." (Because my son can reach the top shelves of our fridge and take out the water bottle).
"Ahhhh", I nodded, "but is this ratio like this now as well? or has it change? Because it sounds to me a bit unequal."
He said that this was some time ago but now it is a 2:2... my kid talks in ratios????
At that moment I remembered that there is a third little person in that group; my daughter. My curiosity took the better of me and I asked about her and how the system is like with her. And with all confidence my son replied,"Oh it is 4:1! I ask four things of her and she asks one thing of me."
And when I asked him whether this ratio will continue for a long time he said,"No, it will change to 4:2."