This past week, I have experienced an awakening of the mind. I was torn between trying to instill valuable lessons in my children while wondering if I had made a mistake bringing them into a world where hatred is pandemic.
Maybe I should have thought about it more. Maybe my husband and I should have been more clairvoyant and seen the damage that people do to this world be it to the environment, the animals and to their own kind. Have I been selfish in my need to be a mother? Did I have to listen to the pressures of our society that determine that a marriage is incomplete without procreation? Would it have been better for us to concentrate on changing ourselves and a little of what is around us than to add to the world population? Wouldn't it have been enough to spread the love that I have to others hoping that it will make a difference?
Despite our best efforts to raise loving, accepting and kind individuals who have the ability to be change makers, I am not sure that we have chosen the right time period to bring them into this world. By bringing them into a world that is seeing a lot of darkness recently, I am wondering if my children will have the chance to see their 40's. Was I fair in bringing them into a world where they will have to struggle to see light, love, acceptance and just plain PEACE?
Please don't get me wrong, my kids gave me the opportunity to improve myself as a human being. I have learned many lessons while trying to teach them how to be sensible and responsible citizens of the world. I am a better person because of them. They are the love of my life and many times I think that the world is a much better place because of them.
I guess, I am just feeling a mix of despondence, guilt and an overwhelming sadness at the moment.
