True Colors; a Polarity? (My 2nd Guest Blogger's Perspective)

My friend Lana has asked me to write a guest post.  This is my first invitation to guest post and I am really honored.

Since receiving Lana's email, I have done a lot of thinking about what "A Person's True Colors" means to me. I realized that I had no idea. So I thought I'd begin by seeing how each word resonated with me as it would relate to the context of a person's true colors.

PERSON - human being, regarded as an individual

TRUE - authentic, honest, without guile (as an adjective to COLORS)

COLORS - as related to PERSON + TRUE = only two colors - LIGHT or DARK

Now we've move into philosophy, theology and, of course, reality.

Light & dark are metaphors for good and evil.

At this point, I understood how and why these three words, strung together into this popular idiom, resonate deeply with my mind, spirit and my view of life's purpose.

Years ago, I developed a personal theory about people. People are divided into two categories.

What are a person's true attitudes, opinions, and biases?  Do live live as "I" and "Other".

GOOD PEOPLE are kind, cooperative, loyal, compassionate, supportive and are conscious to do no harm

BAD PEOPLE are kind when it is to their advantage, mean and manipulative when it suits them. I believe these are unhappy people, filled with poison and that is what emanates from their actions and speech.

There is very little cross over in my experience. We are either one or the other.

We all are creatures of the light but we also have our dark hidden corners. Duality. The way

in which darkness and light manifest in each of us depends which one tips the scales.

Endless variations contribute to creating who we are as people and how the balance of light and dark are at play within our psyche. Such a complex issue. One that I have neither the knowledge nor credentials to extrapolate upon. But credentials or knowledge have little to do with feelings. So I will bring this back to the personal and try to articulate what this idiom means for me.

We all disappoint. We don't always, nor can we, meet others expectations of us.

A myriad of things impact everyday on how centered and aware of ourselves we are at any given moment. So many triggers pull us away from the best we want to be and that best is fluid. So maybe we're tired, grumpy, impatient, a little too snapish sometimes and feel badly afterwards. These are not the moments that define our true colors ~ these are the moments that define our humanity.

☁ Hypothically . . .

When my good friend becomes ill, really ill - I fade into the backround just when she

needs me more than ever. I tell myself, oh I can't watch her in pain, or being depressed - it hurts me too much. What's the color of friendship? What's the color of support or compassion. I don't know what these colors are, but I apparently don't to have them.

I have some childen and they're lots of work, they make noise and are demanding. I have a life too ~ I can't spend all my energy on kids. What is the color of caring? What is the color of nurture? What is the color of responsibility and commitment? I can't say, because they are missing in me.

A member of my immediate family has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and will need care. I seem to be the only caregiver around. I am filled with resentment that I have to do this. What is the color of loyalty? What is the color of courage and empathy? What is the color of gratitude and service? Again, I am at a loss.

❧❧❧

☼ Hypothically. . .

My dear friend is ill and depressed. My heart needs to be near her, just to be there and help out where I can ~ whatever helps her weather this piece in her life, I want to go through it with her, with healthy boundaries.

I have some kids. They are so loud and joyful. They sometimes fight with each other and I can see how they learn to resolve their issues. So my house will be messy for a few years. I love to read with them, go to museums and share in their expanding world. I also know I need some time for myself and alone time with my mate. All of us benefit.

My mom is declining with Alzheimers. It is heartbreaking. Being her caretaker is exhausting with all my other responsibilities. But I recognize the blessings this opportunity provides for both of us. There are things that only happen once. It's hard, but I also know

that I will never regret caring for her for as long as I am able. I feel so much gratitude.

True colors - how do they relate to these two opposite sets of hypothetical life-situations. I think that each of us see true colors differently. We see them according to our own true colors and our private view of how we choose to see the world and the folks in it ~ and which side of the balance scale we want to carry the weight of our spirit.

When we step up. When we listen with compassion without judgement. When our natural instinct is to be helpful and we are not always the most important person in our life. When we are conscious of the way we speak to and of others and want to use right speech. The action our instinct takes when there is less than a heartbeat of time to react.

Respect.

Integrity.

Commitment.

Kindness in all things

Taking responsibility for our actions whatever the cost.

PERSON - human being, regarded as an individual

TRUE - authentic, honest, without guile (as an adjective to COLORS)

COLORS - as related to PERSON + TRUE = only two colors

LIGHT - like a diamond refracting light into many colors - radiance, each it's own distinct beauty. Like the sun that shines on every living thing with impartiality.

DARKNESS - an absence of light.

But even in the deepest darkness a small spark of light can be found.

Barring neurological damage or serious mental illness, we can all choose to find that spark within us and fan it into an all consuming flame of bright light.

In truth, it is the study of my own true colors that have always been the most compelling to me.  After all, they are the only colors I am able to have any influence over. During the course of my lifetime, I’ve become familiar with any number of life’s unexpected variances – those that tend to unsettle our equanimity. Things happen despite our best ethical intentions.  We find ourselves in unexpected situations.  I’ve learned to identify these unplanned surprises as a kind of cosmic check and balance between how we measure our integrity and the courage of our character in our own mind’s eye – and - what really happens when they are put to the test.

I’ve come to understand that while observing or experiencing another’s “true colors” may be most enlightening, fascinating or hurtful and disappointing, the only paints we have to work with are our own.