Sunday, June 19, 2011

No Blaming... No Guilt






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Not long after my eldest went to sleep, my husband and I were sitting together chatting and watching TV. The idea of being together for 10 years came up and how we made it through. We  talked about how we need to focus on the big picture and not only the specific things in life.

We talked about how hard we are on ourselves because we wanted to be good parents. We feel guilty sometimes for not being able to do more than we do, or if we snapped or were firm with them at any time. 

BUT....

This night we decided that we should look at the big picture... our children are wonderful and that is because we are good parents after all. And the small mistakes we do, we need to work to improve for sure but they are not as bad as we exaggerate them to be, because we have two wonderful children, who are respectful, smart, happy and healthy (Mashallah & Ilhamdulillah). 

And, just for once, we should think of ourselves as doing the best we can because we spend so much time with them one on one, one on two and two on two, we think of healthy food to feed them (with some treats on the side for a good day), we educate them in the Arts of Manners and the Music of Life, read to them, praise them,  love and hug them.

But we must also remember that... Even though we should always pat ourselves on our backs from time to time, we should never allow our egos to grow so much that we permit them to control our drive to get better at what we do.

7 comments:

paula devi said...

Ten years and already so much wisdom. You have given praise to God and He has blessed you. As you say "Mashallah & Ilhamdulillah".

Tabouleh said...

Awww Paula... that is so sweet of you to say... It is a boost to my confidence in my abilities... I am still learning... from everyone around me... including my blog friends... thank you!

paula devi said...

Lana, I have just finished reading the most remarkable book. It's called "A Girl From Foreign" by Sadia Shepard. I got it from the library.
I don't want to give any spoilers, but will just say it was written as an auto-biographical journey. If I belonged to a book club this would be such a story for levels of humanity and discussion. Perhaps you will google it to see if it looks interesting to you. If you decide to read it, we could be a book club.

Birdie said...

Lana,

I don't think you could ever have a big ego. You are so sweet and your posts overflow with love for your children. They are blessed.

How do you pronounce Ilhamdulillah?

Tabouleh said...

Again I am not sure why I am finding it hard to comment with my Blog account... Anyway...

Paula... i looked for the book on Amazon... it is definitely a book I would like to read... i am going to Jordan in three weeks and will visit my favorite book store there and buy it... any other recommendations? I love real life stories and have read many that cover my arms with goose bumps... stories of real women... love those kinds of stories... learn so much from them... when I buy I will let you know when i finish it and your idea of starting a book club? Awesome... great idea... maybe start a blog book club and co-write what we think of books... Thank you so much!

Barbara... you are simply a gem!
The word means Thanks be to God... and the Arabic word for God is Allah... or Rab... anyway... you start with il... 7Ham.. 7h is an H sound but it comes from the throat... not the KH with phlem and all... but you can say it with an H and it is totalyl fine and people will still understand your meaning... then you say the du... sounds like DO... then Lil... like the shortened version of Little... then stress on the last L sound of Lil... and add the AAAHHHH! at the end to make Il Ham do lil laaaah!
I hope that makes sense...

paula devi said...

yes, yes. let's do that, I have no idea how to do that but I think you will know. I will even re-read the book for that. I swallow up the books I love and miss some things. Then I go for a second round. Enjoy Jordan and your family. I can just picture your parents going crazy of your kids. Eat that wonderful Middle Estern food for me too.

Tabouleh said...

Ok great! umm...I think I should start by reading the book and then we can figure out the logistics! Awesome... looking forward to it!
As for the Middle Eastern Food... I am so looking forward to it... and the sweets... I was going to take pictures of dishes my mother and grandmother cooked for us and post something on them... my Husband looks forward to their cooking... I can make a few dishes but there is something about the old generations and how well they cook... it doesn't seem to be contagious! LOL