Monday, April 11, 2011

Tantrums and Bonds



Today was a great day in the sense that I have bonded with my son and got somewhere with my daughter... 

It was a usual morning... nothing different... as always my daughter alarm clock woke us up early, potty and milk time... Son wanting his milk... breakfast ... this time though, because I slept late the night before having a Tweeterapy session with myself, my husband took the kids in the AM and I tried to have an hour or two of sleep. It was not meant to be... 

My daughter threw a tantrum and all I heard for two hours was her crying, whining and wailing... I got up and had to deal with it...but she went into our bathroom and started pulling things off the shelf and throwing things onto the floor.... well I placed a cushion in the bathroom, closed the door behind me, sat there and asked her nicely to pick up what she just threw... 

And that was that... 45 minutes of continuous crying... I knew she was trying to be defiant... stubborn... trying to sort out what she was feeling... sort out her emotions... but I would not budge... I mean if I went back on what I asked her to do, she would think she would always be able to get away with things... so I stood my ground... let her cry... well it was more like a screaming fit... she pulled other things down, the toilet paper was everywhere at this point... oh Boy! 

I still did not budge... but in between all the bursts of tantrum episodes... I gave her hugs... she would hug me so tightly while weeping and calm down a bit ...but as soon as I asked her to pick up the things she would go back to her tantrums... she wanted her dummy... wanted water... wanted to get out of the bathroom... but I kept saying,"If you pick up those bottles, I will give you water/your dummy!" Premack's Principle.

Well after, 45 minutes... she relented... picked up the toilet paper... so I gave her some water to drink.... she picked up more and I then jumped in to help her... and the rest was history. I gotta tell you that it was a difficult three quarters of an hour... I had to plug my ears a few times worrying about the damage the screaming in a small room would cause to my ear drums... but it all worked out in the end.

As for my son... I had a great 4 hours with him... my daughter was supposed to go with us but I think the screaming made her tired and she needed to sleep. So after I put her to bed for her afternoon nap, I took my son and we went to a play area at the mall... we painted picture frames, raced cars together shared ice-cream, pop corn and Auntie Annie pretzels...We bonded and had a whale of a time. You see, we have not been spending quality one on one time with each other... there is always my daughter with us... so from time to time, I like to take him out on his own... I should do it more often... it's so much fun!

After we came home, I felt guilty about the junk food that we ate at the mall that I made a salad with red kidney beans and the kids gobbled it  up....phew!  Squeezed in something healthy... LOL... I was glad that we all shared the love of something as healthy as a salad...


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