Are They in Alphabetical Order?

Some choose to show their indebtidness by buying a gift and others choose to write a card. Others, show it with a look in their eyes, a smile on their lips, a hug or a nod. Yet others, choose to show it using the most confusing and misunderstood gesture of them all, humor. 

To elaborate on this, following is an incident that happened last night. My husband was getting ready for bed. Tired from a day in the sun. He was searching for a new pair to change into after his shower and even though he did not direct his self-questioning at me, I answered them with a simple reply and pointed to the drawer. 

He teasingly said, “Are they in alphabetical order?” 

It might seem like an odd response but it’s a “thank you”. I appreciated the way he recognized my efforts of washing, drying, folding and showing him where to find them. I recognized his attempt to make me smile and his unique way of pointing out one of my character traits. I recognized his individuality, his playfulness and his trust (We have been married 16 years…3aib (shame) if I didn’t). I recognized that he has a variety of ways to show his inner feelings despite me having to be extra alert to understand some of them and I recognized that humor is but one of those ways.

Like him, we show our appreciation using simple gestures; a touch, a blink or a gentle whisper. We show it using more elaborate gestures; a floating balloon, a fancy dinner invitation or a cold glass of beer. But the message from all of them would be the same; that the kindness offered was recognized, internalized and valued. We just need to remember to open our hearts and receive it.

And though we have our own secret fantasies of how we can be thanked, we should always remind ourselves that we were not kind because we wanted to be acknowledged but rather, because it is who we are.