That's Why

 

    Did you ever stop and wonder why you did this or that? Or why you made that choice that led you down a path you never expected? Sometimes, we find it difficult to remember the reasons, we forget what started the whole journey. Yet, at other times, something happens and THAT reminds us of the countless reasons why one of our choices led to this point in time; this very moment that we are living, experiencing and observing the scene of our life unfold. 

    The events of this week reminded me of my choices and why I picked the journey I am living right now. Watching my life partner connecting with our kids, listening to his impressions and advice and then sharing his passion for life and living, reminded me of the many reasons why I made my choices 21 years ago. 

    Two incidences in particular made me a time traveller and took me back to that moment I decided my fate. My accomplice convinced me to push our children (15 and 12) to venture alone into Ottawa and explore, make mistakes and 'literally' get lost. He encouraged them to check out the bus routes, check out restaurants and museums. They did a great job getting themselves to visit the Parliament, eat an expensive lunch and then contact us to pick them up when they lost their bus money. My husband was very calm throughout the whole ordeal while I pecked about like a mother hen. I learned that day that he calms me just the right amount and helps me believe in the value of positivity and making mistakes. 

    The second incident that helped remind me of my life choices happened when we were talking about all sorts of things including internal struggles. At one point, he paused for a moment and said, "I wish you'd gain more confidence and see yourself through my eyes!" And there it was; the second reminder of why I chose the choices I chose. 

Did you ever stop and wonder why?

Listening & Grateful to Just Be

 

After an enjoyable dinner with the family, I went to my bedroom just to have some time for myself, sit in bed and read. I hadn't begun to feel cozy and comfortable, when a better distraction captured my attention and took it to a much more satisfying activity; listening to a father interact with his kids. 

I wanted so much to join the fun and the laughter but I wanted to give them that time; build memories and hold them close to remember when things get challenging. 

I was content to be an outsider looking at a realistic fantasy (if there is such a book genre)... It was as if I were listening to an audio story unfolding...  I had a special look into a comedic magical world where imagination never ended. 

I loved that world since it first began in 2005. It began with our children in the womb. The main character in this story would talk to them and tell them weird jokes. The kind of jokes that only a few people understood but who were grateful that he shared them. 

I loved (and always will love) that biological chemistry that a parent has with their children. That feeling that is like no other. It is that of being in utter jubilation and also being utterly at peace.

So I understood what all three were experiencing together and wanted it to last for them.

At that point, I was so grateful to just be, in the outer circle spectating the whole magical encounter....

Half an hour later...

It is time for me to join in.