Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Time to ‘Practice’ Letting Go

I have miniature ‘beings’ living in my emotional system seeking shelter and sustenance. In the 43 years that I have of my life, I still cannot seem to be able to get rid of them.

Little Anger specs float freely around in my bloodstream causing a blockage in my arteries from time to time. I am angry at the world for not being able to live together, find good solutions and have one rule of law for everyone… to “be human and exercise humanity”. I am angry at the world for not stopping its orbit to realize that we are all the same underneath the same blue sky. Little Anger will never go away, I suspect. I doubt this world will ever reach the level of humanity that I am hoping for in my life, and that makes me angry… disappointed… envious of the next generation. I wanted to witness that era myself… I wanted to taste it… to feel it… to know what it would be like living in such a world where everyone was happy … everyone loved one another… everyone accepted all the differences and extended a helping hand.

Little Anger is not only directed towards the world but also at myself. I am angry with myself for allowing others to get under my skin and for me to take that as an excuse to complain. I should not complain even if I disagree with something and when the majority of the voices are not heard. I should not complain if something displeases me for I have the power to change it. I should not complain for not receiving everything I had asked for... For I have a good life and I have been blessed many times over.

It is time that I start practicing to let go of all these Little Angers. I say ‘practicing’ because I might need several trials before I succeed. I know that it is for me to decide if I failed or not but it will also depend on how long I can go for without either kind of spec sneaking in.

I have read so many articles on how to improve one’s mindset. They explain in detail how to change thoughts metamorphosing them into something positive. Have I tried implementing the strategies or steps they suggested? Yup… sure thing… BUT it did not last long before the Littles invaded my space again… What can I say? They always miss me.

I believe it takes courage, determination and above all will to make a successful breakaway and establish total decontamination. Do I want to change a few things? Yes… Do I want to lead a healthier life in all its aspects? Defo…

Now, do I have the stamina to stick to it and not allow the stress flies to swarm me? Ahhh... That is a different story all together… You see… I have another spec that many times makes an appearance on stage… drum roll…  please welcome… Little Ms. Lazy!


Anonymous said...

I'm working on this, too...

Birdie said...

This is brilliant writing and I completely understand. I often wish I could be one of those people who don't seem affected by the world. But at the same time I don't want to become complacent. I just know I am tired of being depressed, sad and angry and it not seeming to make a difference.