The Little People

We call our children by terms such as “kiddos”, "Munchkins"or “The Little People”, not only in reference to their size but to their maturity level as well. Mark my words, the next generation of “little people” are neither little nor are they ordinary. They are wise beings walking amongst us from all the different pre-adult growth stages. And one thing we can do to learn something new is to listen more closely. 

After reading and before turning off the lights, my children shared a secret with me that made us dive deep into a conversation about family and friendships. We talked about how if kindness was to be shared with everyone no matter our relationship status with them, that our positive vibes will spread around and return to their owner. We talked about how it is crucial for us to stay true to ourselves, remember our hearts and listen to our intuition before attempting to speak or act. We poured out our opinions, listened and debated amongst each other late into the night (not a good example of parenting). We questioned and accepted. We understood that it is important to pay attention to our voices and the subtle messages that we receive from others. And it is important to remain loyal to our inner core. 

I learned something about my son last night. Other than being protective, respectful and caring, my son is very perceptive of the subtleties of language and actions. He is very intuitive, more than he leads me to believe. In this conversation, he taught me that we can be totally respectful and kind but at the same time, call an elephant an elephant. Should we hide our injured feelings or sincere remorse if they are hurting our core? Should we always choose kindness when settling a resolution and trust in the intentions of others? 

I also learned something about my daughter. She is extremely attentive and sensitive to emotions and words. Remaining true to herself, she makes a genuine effort to spread love around her no matter what mood she is in. In that conversation, she taught me that people can be jerks to us sometimes and that we can still love them because we have a connection. We all need to feel that our existence matters to someone so why not “try a little tenderness” even if it were not reciprocated. We have an unlimited supply of love, smiles and biodegradable glitter. 

I was unwittingly humbled by my children last night. Their wisdom, crystal clear and easily flowing, superseded their years. The lessons were basic and ones that we have learned when we were young just before the passage of time faded them. But there is hope, my dears, these are lessons engrained deep within us if we just attempt to listen. 

Now that my children pushed the doors to my eyes open a little further, I am seeing more sonorously and beginning to wonder if they are not the wiser.

And even though we would hate to admit it to ourselves, many times they are.

Are They in Alphabetical Order?

Some choose to show their indebtidness by buying a gift and others choose to write a card. Others, show it with a look in their eyes, a smile on their lips, a hug or a nod. Yet others, choose to show it using the most confusing and misunderstood gesture of them all, humor. 

To elaborate on this, following is an incident that happened last night. My husband was getting ready for bed. Tired from a day in the sun. He was searching for a new pair to change into after his shower and even though he did not direct his self-questioning at me, I answered them with a simple reply and pointed to the drawer. 

He teasingly said, “Are they in alphabetical order?” 

It might seem like an odd response but it’s a “thank you”. I appreciated the way he recognized my efforts of washing, drying, folding and showing him where to find them. I recognized his attempt to make me smile and his unique way of pointing out one of my character traits. I recognized his individuality, his playfulness and his trust (We have been married 16 years…3aib (shame) if I didn’t). I recognized that he has a variety of ways to show his inner feelings despite me having to be extra alert to understand some of them and I recognized that humor is but one of those ways.

Like him, we show our appreciation using simple gestures; a touch, a blink or a gentle whisper. We show it using more elaborate gestures; a floating balloon, a fancy dinner invitation or a cold glass of beer. But the message from all of them would be the same; that the kindness offered was recognized, internalized and valued. We just need to remember to open our hearts and receive it.

And though we have our own secret fantasies of how we can be thanked, we should always remind ourselves that we were not kind because we wanted to be acknowledged but rather, because it is who we are. 

You are Not Normal

“You are not normal,” he divulged. 

And a whirlwind of words blew through me, intertwined with questions. 

“What do you mean I am not normal? Why?”

“Normal, is like water. It is tasteless.”

“But normal is safe. Comfortable.”

“Exactly. It is boring. You are extraordinary and weird.”

I began thinking about the years that I have lived, the experiences that I have had and the lessons that I have learned. I learned so much just by being introduced to different cultures, trains of thought and personalities. I soaked in these life lessons with the help of nature, people, Art and Music. And now, I am changed. 

And in the end, I had to agree with him. Yes, I am not normal. And it is these experiences that have changed me. 

There were never mistakes that I could not learn from and become a humbler person. There were never happy moments that I did not cherish and become a more grateful person. There were never sad moments that I did not grieve and become a little wiser. 

These experiences were never just coincidences. They came at just the right time when I truly needed tweaking. When I needed an upgrade to the next version, a better version of myself. 

And now that I have thought about it, my next upgrade should be the removal of the forgiveness button. It should become obsolete in my system since forgiveness should flow through me without the reliance on an activation “button”. I need to learn to forgive myself without having to ponder for weeks and months about it. 

I might not be the best mom, the best wife, the best daughter, the best friend or the best teacher, but I must believe that I have a good heart and that my intentions are always kind, never malicious. I must learn to forgive myself more often and allow my wounds to heal without having to exert so much mental, emotional and physical effort.  

All the experiences that I have had should help me upgrade to this version. They should have taught me that we all make mistakes and that it is okay. 

I should never think of myself as normal anymore. And the best part of all this is, that my husband thinks I am extraordinary. 

YAAASSS! The potion must be working on him….. WAAHAAAHAAHAAAAA!