I Wished Them Well

    This New Moon self-reflection practice had me in tangles today. The energy of the Earth has been off for the last two days and I felt it deeply. I was discombobulated the whole day but tried to laugh it all off. However, my efforts to appear cute with my forgetfulness, only showed off my age even more. 🤣

    Anyway, I have been off the whole day.  I was either forgetting my online lessons, or my phone at home, or my keys at Staples or my visa card with my husband after scanning all my Shoppers' items. It also rained as soon as I got out of our parked car and stopped as soon as I entered Metro. And yup, you got it! It rained as soon as I walked out through the automatic door again! Luckily, I had a small 5 Euro umbrella with me from Dublin to save my hair. 

    I was informed through Instagram yesterday, that the New Moon was going to be spectacular on this date. It is one of those very rare occasions when two New Moons happen in one month. And it was my birthday month! So logically, I took this as a sign from the universe that I need to make some changes. I also could literally feel the energies of change zipping around in my body. 

    Which was why, after reaching my healing place today, I made sure to do my normal practice of writing a list of people that I love, wish them well and pray to keep negative energies away from them. 

    This month, though, was a little different. Due to this rare New Moon, I chose to include the names of people who have never made it on my list for one reason or another. I chose to let go. I chose to release my anger and wish them well.

    I chose to release the blackness in my heart and wish it away. This negative energy within me was causing me a lot of hurt. A lot of damage. 

    Why was I holding on to this emotion that even Prophet Mohammad mentioned by name (PBUH) in many of his Hadiths? “No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, than the anger he restrains.” (Ibn Majah)

    Looking back at all those months that I wasted,  it seemed as though I was shielding this thing I was keeping inside, trying to protect it. 

    And I am not sure why. Maybe I have held on to this anger for fear that I would lose everything. Maybe I was worried that I was letting go of the one part of me that I knew well. The one emotion that protected me- kept me safe. Maybe that anger kept me alive and breathing. 

    Surely there is a good reason why I kept it for so long? But try as I might to ignore the signs that the universe was throwing at me, I must admit that this part of me was not just a draw back, it was unhealthy; mentally, physically and emotionally. 

    So tonight, I went outside and soaked in the new positive moonlight energies. I whispered to the Moon that I am still learning the ropes but I am breathing in deep, and releasing anything that is not helping me move forward. I wanted her to be witness to my promise to her and to myself. 

I wish everyone all the best of light energies this New Moon. May we shed what does not serve us and may the energies bring miracles into our lives. 

Embrace it all y'all and wish others well. 

At the end of the day,

 

                                                                     My Fabric Painting of an Unfinished Dragonfly

I am a good girl.

    Every full moon, I take the time to reflect on my actions using a few questions such as; how well (or not) I handled something, or how loving (or not) I have been with my loved ones and strangers alike.... (and it goes without saying that it is all relative, of course! 😉).

    After years of this practice, I have come to realize one thing. As countless of people out there,  I am usually very hard on myself. But I want this year to be different because I am a little different! 

    I am very grateful for my small improvements and even more thankful for the big lessons that pushed me forward to make them. 

    And even though being hard on myself is no different this new moon than every other 27 to 29 days of the year, I have decided to be a little forgiving of myself. I am a good girl despite my flaws. I am a good girl regardless of my scars. In spite of everything, I am a good girl because I want to be a good person. 

    At the end of the day, all I need, to keep me in check, is answers to some questions; 

    Have I tried my best to be a good person? 

    Have my positives out shined my negatives? 

    Are there more people who love me today than those who hate me? 

    and, How do I intend to be better?

     

    And even though I have passed half-a-century, I am still learning, still healing, and still pushing. 

    Just like my painting up there, I am an unfinished Dragonfly!