Check In

 

https://www.timeshighereducation.com/hub/learning-labs/p/check-yourself-mental-health-awareness-campaign-uk-higher-education

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to lose yourself without realizing it. Not in a dramatic way. Not by walking away from your life. Just by doing what needs to be done every day, over and over, until it becomes normal not to ask how you are doing.

For many years, my life revolved around responsibility.
I cooked, cleaned, washed, folded, ironed.
I worked with students.
I took care of my kids and made sure their lives were full — birthday parties, gifts, playdates, fun outings, science projects, art days, baking afternoons, pizza nights, dancing in the rain, volunteering, caring for animals, trying to raise kind humans who notice the world and give back to it.

I tried to hold things together when life became difficult. I focused on keeping things as normal and stable as possible, especially for my children. That felt important. It still does.

I tried to be a good mother.
And somehow, even while trying my best, there was always guilt — the quiet feeling that it was never quite enough.

I tried to be a good wife too. Supportive. Present. Giving. I wasn’t perfect. I was often tired. Sometimes overwhelmed. Sometimes emotionally drained. Life has a way of doing that.

Still, I tried.

I try to be good at my jobs... 

A good teacher.

A good friend.

A good daughter.

A good daughter in law

A good relative.

So much of my life has been shaped by trying to show up well for everyone around me. And somewhere in all of that, I realized I had stopped checking in with myself. Not because I didn’t care — but because there never seemed to be time. And when there was time, it felt almost uncomfortable to use it for myself.

This year, I’m thinking differently.

I am not stepping away from the people I love or the responsibilities that matter to me. I am allowing myself moments — small ones — to think about who I am, what I need, and where I want to grow.

There is something deeply spiritual about giving yourself permission to exist beyond your roles.
To remember that you are more than what you do for others.

My intention for the new year is not to break away, but to expand. To loosen the limits I’ve placed on myself without realizing it. To grow without guilt.

If I take a few moments each day to return to myself, I believe it will make me more present — not less — in the lives of the people I love.

This isn’t about becoming someone else.
It’s about remembering who I already am.