Many Last Breaths

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After putting the kids to bed, I put my ear-phones on while selecting a Creed song from my favorites;

 "One Last Breath".

I sighed when the chorus began. The words, bouncing off my eardrums, triggered a switch. And a flood of memories swam towards me like snapshots of the past. Some images were of happy moments, others sad or painful but many more of them were,  thankfully, of me at bliss.

At the end of our day, we are truly blessed and should feel at bliss.  Granted we all had a few challenging moments, but  we can all agree that they built our inner strength and were our lego blocks  that made us who we are at this very moment.

Tonight, Creed's lead singer took me on a journey into his own thought processes that were going through a storm of emotions. That journey was what drew me to the song ages ago. I have been through similar journeys since that year I bought that CD but, of course, not with guitar and drum beats in the background.

Those muddy dips are slippery and sticky sometimes. It is hard to get out of them but two things always help; smiling and good thoughts. Take today for instance; despite not knowing where we will be next academic year and being all worried about it, I took my five- minutes to be mindful of myself and my surroundings. I remembered how blessed I am to be working where I do. I got the chance to work side by side with phenomenal teachers who taught me something new; maybe not everyday but definitely every other day.

I know that I am not the only one going through a similar journey or experience.

We are people who will reach that place no less than once in our lives. It makes no difference what age, size, gender, non-gender, sexuality, race or ethnicity, beliefs, scientific knowledge and religion, we were. No matter which 'country', 'nation', 'town' or 'football team' we belong to. We will come to that door, no matter how big, and knock. We will come to the point where we will be the ones calling for help. We are not invincible. We are human.

We all have the same needs. We all want to be saved, to be believed in, to be safe, to be appreciated and above all, to be loved. Because at the end of our journeys, we will inevitably perish and end up as fertilizers for the next generations to use and grow from. "All we are is dust in the wind" as the Kansas saying goes, right?

And hence, if everyone, and with no exception, wants to be loved, then we should know how it looks like to be loved. And if we have that in mind, we should also know how it looks like not to be loved. So let us be observant and more mindful of the people who surround us. "I still believe there's something left for me," (Stapp, Creed), for everyone.


Do not take your last breath, Take many last breaths so that the last one never is.

Five Minutes

I took five minutes longer in the shower this evening. Five minutes to think of nothing but the drops of water trickling down my back, my eyelashes and my chin. I sat down and allowed myself to breathe deeply, pushing all other thoughts out, only focusing on the sound of the water hitting the sides of the tub.  

It has been a challenging start to the school year but at that moment, I was not caught up in my own ideas and thought processes.   At that moment, I did not self- judge; I did not question decisions made or paths taken. I only allowed those thoughts to trickle through unattended just as the drops of water dripped from the shower head onto mine and then ran towards the drain. The inner critic switch was turned off and I was determined to have inner peace for five fruitful minutes. I ignored the nagging negative thoughts that came knocking, resolved to make their way through to my inner mind. I thought only about the drops of water and that in 5 days, I would be joining my sister to discover Ethiopia and its wonders. I felt at ease at last.

And after that five-minute eternity of not allowing one single negative thought to infiltrate my being, I drew the shower curtain and was instantly hit with the reality of my life… “Dang it… I forgot the towel again!”