I
have miniature ‘beings’ living in my emotional system seeking shelter and
sustenance. In the 43 years that I have of my life, I still cannot seem to be
able to get rid of them.
Little
Anger specs float freely around in my bloodstream causing a blockage in my
arteries from time to time. I am angry at the world for not being able to live
together, find good solutions and have one rule of law for everyone… to “be
human and exercise humanity”. I am angry at the world for not stopping its
orbit to realize that we are all the same underneath the same blue sky. Little
Anger will never go away, I suspect. I doubt this world will ever reach the
level of humanity that I am hoping for in my life, and that makes me angry…
disappointed… envious of the next generation. I wanted to witness that era
myself… I wanted to taste it… to feel it… to know what it would be like living
in such a world where everyone was happy … everyone loved one another… everyone
accepted all the differences and extended a helping hand.
Little
Anger is not only directed towards the world but also at myself. I am angry
with myself for allowing others to get under my skin and for me to take that as
an excuse to complain. I should not complain even if I disagree with something
and when the majority of the voices are not heard. I should not complain if
something displeases me for I have the power to change it. I should not
complain for not receiving everything I had asked for... For I have a good life
and I have been blessed many times over.
It
is time that I start practicing to let go of all these Little Angers. I say ‘practicing’ because I might need several trials before I
succeed. I know that it is for me to decide if I failed or not but it will also
depend on how long I can go for without either kind of spec sneaking in.
I
have read so many articles on how to improve one’s mindset. They explain in
detail how to change thoughts metamorphosing them into something positive. Have
I tried implementing the strategies or steps they suggested? Yup… sure thing… BUT
it did not last long before the Littles invaded my space again… What can I say?
They always miss me.
I
believe it takes courage, determination and above all will to make a successful
breakaway and establish total decontamination. Do I want to change a few things? Yes… Do
I want to lead a healthier life in all its aspects? Defo…
Now,
do I have the stamina to stick to it and not allow the stress flies to swarm
me? Ahhh... That is a different story all together… You see… I have another
spec that many times makes an appearance on stage… drum roll… please welcome… Little Ms. Lazy!
