Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Teaching Our Sons


 Picture: http://huo7.blogspot.com/2011/11/huo7-students-workshops-9-womens-rights.html

Dear Readers,

I am having a  hard time understanding many of the actions of men around the world especially with regards to how they treat women. The newspapers are filled with how men are raping, sexually harassing, torturing and even murdering women and girls in many countries around the world. I have read news stories that left me shuddering in disgust fearing for the lives of those precious beings, my gender sisters. I have written about this many times before, Females as Targets, but cannot seem to get over this whole idea.

I have always wondered what these brutal ignorant men thought or did if someone else, other than themselves, did the same thing to their mothers, sisters, cousins or daughters? What goes through their heads when they treat people so horribly? Do they feel any remorse or guilt after they commit their atrocious crimes against humanity or do they feel righteous and proud of their actions?

Then I wonder how they were raised as young easily moldable boys. I wonder who had the biggest impact on their lives; their mothers, their fathers, uncles or religious figures? Would their mothers condemn such criminal, cowardly, dehumanizing acts that their sons had committed against other peoples' daughters? Or do they fear their sons' 'Grapes of Wrath' that they allow this to happen? Do they turn a blind eye or pretend to ignore it as if it was not happening? Do they teach them to respect females from a younger age or just live and let live accepting their sons learning from other manipulative masochistic teachers? Do they teach them to follow preachers who falsify religion and hide in the shade of its broken columns or do they try to remove the toxic white wash layer that those preachers coat the young minds with?

No matter how a community views its other 50%, we, the women need to influence the minds of their boys bringing them up to challenge the sick minds of their male ancestors. We, as mothers, grandmothers and teachers have a great impact on the minds of the little ones. If we believed that we deserve such a treatment, then we will grow up to teach that crazy idea to our children. If we thought that we have the right to live as any other human being on this earth no matter what our gender was, then we will portray that to our children who would grow up to defend this gender. if we believed that it is the right of our fathers, brothers and husbands to control us and our every decision and action, then we will transfer that sick mentality to our boys and girls. We need to start with ourselves... change the image and views we have in our heads of ourselves in order to make a change and difference in our children's' lives.

It is a hard job to do and I am in no way underestimating the difficulty of it, but something has to happen. I am starting with my son as my mother started before me and my grandmother before her. A change is a must... we need to bring up our sons to respect us and our gender. 

I found the below TED talk really interesting. 

Please watch and let me know your thoughts.... I am so fed up with what is going on in the world and am desperate for a solution or a sliver of hope that things will change in the Developing Countries.

7 comments:

Ofelia said...

What an amazing post!
As a Latin women I have experience and seeing what machismo and lack of women rights can do to another human being.
I never understood how my brother got to do whatever he wanted to do and I have to be submissive and quiet.
Which by the way, I never was (since I was little I was called a trouble maker)!
Violence against women is something that I can't understand because as you said these men came from mothers, they may have sisters, cousins, aunts and grandmothers that probably were the ones raising them??

Tabouleh said...

haha! I call myself the black sheep of the family... my Aunt used to say I break molds... so I understand how you used to fell when you were younger... I also do not understand how men can be cruel to the gender that bore them... it takes so much strength to stand up to such backwards mentality.

db said...

Glad to see you back spreading that change.

Incredible timing. Though not directly related to the treatment of women, I am dealing with the problems of the aggressive behavior of conservative gun toting men, struggling with how to respond to them from a place of kindness and understanding, when they see such behavior as signs of weakness, thus inviting more aggressiveness. Indeed it does take strength to stand up, even more so in a way that does not encourage more backwardness.

Is Black Sheep what we have in common here? A fine friend introduced me to another identity that's a bit more positive; those of us who become known for standing up and being non-conforming are known to go "Waltzing with Bears".

http://www.luicollins.com/music/detail/lyrics/Mars/WaltzingWithBears.html

This is from what I believe is a fine children's album.

db said...

Incredible timing. Though not directly related to the treatment of women, I am dealing with the problems of the aggressive behavior of conservative gun toting men, struggling with how to respond to them from a place of kindness and understanding, when they see such behavior as signs of weakness, thus inviting more aggressiveness. Indeed it does take strength to stand up, even more so in a way that does not encourage more backwardness.

Is Black Sheep what we have in common here? A fine friend introduced me to another identity that's a bit more positive; those of us who are a bit non-compliant are also know to go "Waltzing with Bears".

http://www.luicollins.com/music/detail/lyrics/Mars/WaltzingWithBears.html

Ofelia said...

Hi Lana, I hope that you and your family are all well and happy.
You don't have to respond to this comment; I just want to say hi and send you some good wishes.

Tabouleh said...

HI Ofelia,
Thank you for your comment and asking around about me. I am doing fine and just losing myself in trying to get organized and clear many things in the house before the move. I will probably get back to blogging after a few months when I am more settled in Tanzania, our new country for a few years.
Will visit soon!
Much love to you
L

Birdie said...

Just stopping by to see how you are doing. I hope you are well, Lana. xo