Thursday, March 30, 2023

The Heart of Ramadan

 



    I always said, out loud and with conviction, that there is so much more to Ramadan than just not eating from sunrise to sunset, praying, reading the Quran and feeling with the poor. My Tata, used to giggle and say to me, "You only stop eating? That is like dogs' hunger!" I used to giggle but still refrain from doing anything else other than that and a few prayers and Quranic verses.  I now understand that maybe her statement meant so much more. 

    I always thought that I could show my growth in other ways. I could restrain my tongue (I always had a challenge with that!). I could focus on constraining my anger (and yet, another challenge!).  And follow one of the Hadith's that I truly love, "Religion is how you treat people!" And that is how I have been fasting Ramadan. I try to be a good person! I fail! I try! I fail! But the growth keeps pushing forward. 

    I see Ramadan as a boot camp for Muslims to elevate themselves and become better individuals. They could try for a month to be the best version of themselves, and then if they could do it for a month, then they could do it for two, then three, and so on, for twelve months. We have multiple chances and lessons! That is why it is so important for us  to return to its heart.

    I have been sharing my views on Ramadan and Islam with my husband throughout our marriage. As you know, he is Canadian and is now teaching at a "mostly" Arab school. Lately, due to Ramadan, he has been asking me confirmation questions seeking understanding about what is important in this month, what does Islam say about certain "rules", and whether or not you can disrupt learning to go pray. 

    And, today, just by coincidence, my mother sent me a video by The CJ Werleman Show (CJWS). It explained what Ramadan truly is and how knowledge and seeking it are important in Islam. While watching it, my beliefs of the loss of Ramadan were confirmed. We can see this loss happening on a grand scale; we rarely see the essence of it between our nations. And this is affecting the translation of it internationally. 

     However, on a small scale, one will always find hints of its fragrance amongst our people.  I used to ignore the angry drivers but love going grocery shopping in Jordan during that month. Having small chats with the merchants, seeing their smiles, hearing Ramadan Mubarak, the call of prayer and the smell of Katayef always warmed my heart. I loved going to iftars when Lent happened at the same time. We used to eat with friends who observed Lent and others who fasted Ramadan. Boy, do I miss the feel of Ramadan and the family! 

   I believe that we need to go to the heart of everything. I love taking from the beauty in all religions, beliefs and ways of life and apply the gems to my life and my understanding of it. There is an abundance of spirituality in all of the books we read. And at the core of all of them, is the strive to improve oneself. We need to return to ourselves! We need to return to the heart! 



Wednesday, March 29, 2023

My Turtle Pace

 

    The pace at which I'm learning to live in the moment is at the same pace as my skiing- slow and guarded.

I am still trying to forget the trying past and hold on to the cherished memories. 

I am more understanding of the notion that things had to happen, the way they happened, for me to be more aware of my words, my actions, my thoughts and my feelings.

I am discovering that it is a journey that is very hilly and yet, it is giving me exactly what I need to re-learn how to walk upright again. 

I am, and continue to be, a work in progress; absorbing the good, learning from and letting go the bad. 

I am a never finished sculpture. 

And I am grateful for that!